Marketing strategies

Dilbert's strategy..

A Professor at one of the IIM’s (INDIA) was explaining marketing concepts to
the Students:-

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
“I am very rich. Marry me!” – That’s Direct Marketing

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says:
“He’s very rich. Marry him.” – That’s Advertising

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day, you call and say:
“Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.” – That’s Telemarketing

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie,
you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her,

pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:
“By the way, I’m rich. Will you marry me?” – That’s Public Relations

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says:
“You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?” – That’s Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
“I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
- That’s Customer Feedback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
“I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband.
- That’s demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say
anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?”
and she goes with him – That’s competition eating into your market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say:
“I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives. – That’s restriction for entering new markets

The lure of distant lands..and the yearn to return home..

Westward Ho!!

The electronic buzz and the chatter of people overflows the lobbies of airports across the world where tight security and a festive atmosphere always fills the air. With more people hopping on and off planes than ever before, the world has trully become a much smaller place. And this ever shrinking planet has provided wings to many a dream, one that has captivated centuries of maveric explorers.

Ever since man first set foot on this planet (..though darwinians would put it in a different way..) man has wanted to travel far and wide. And despite the progress of google maps, which gives us a glimpse of every square inch of this planet on our very desktops; the thirst to explore distant lands has’nt seemed to have been quenched. This thirst for adventure though some would argue its greed for the riches of the foreign land drives many an indian student across the seas to the western hemisphere.

The lure for the west is almost as strong as the great gold rush in the US during the 19th century. People tend to choose their professions based on future prospects in a western world. Students leave no stone unturned in enhancing their professional profiles so that they can swoop in on the opportunity to leave the place they have grown to know every nook of.  The educated youth feel they have tolerated enough of their part of the world, and cringe at its shortcomings. People are almost desperate to break those shackles and make that journey. Such is the lure for those distant lands . But just like the explorers of the Americas, today’s explorers find to their dismay, that there is little luster in the the gold they fail to find.

In time though the ultra clean skyrocketing buildings, the pitch dark roads with sparkly automobiles and swanky shopping malls fail to captivate the minds of most immigrants. As time draws on the thought of the dirt beaten roads, ramshackle eat-outs and yester-year experiences in that place they call home seems cozy and comforting. The people around though very warm and friendly in this distant cold land, fail to fill the void created by the absence of family.

The simplicities of everyday life and the grandiose of festivals back home are only a distant dream, a yearning that haunts the senses. And make no mistake its not just the mind that yearns, the feeling is so strong that even the stomach churns at the recollection of the taste and smell of the food of the homeland. This psycho-somato-sensory yearning dominates every conversation and every discussion with fellow victims.

With all the compromises and sacrifices to be made to live in this distant land, which we had dreamt of, as the ultimate liberation, is it worthwhile to make that journey?. It sometimes crosses my mind as to why we always yearn for what we dont have or cant see. Why we house this deep desire to see more than what is shown to us, encompassing our decisions and life, is a mystery that has captivated thinkers for ages.  As a famous kannada poet puts it “Iruvudellava Bittu iradudaredege thudivudhe jeevana” (translation: Life is all about moving on towards what we dont have by leaving behind what we already have”).